the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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