Moan for me like Helen Keller
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
