I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
