i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
