yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
