Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
FUCK WHALES
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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