Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
