i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
