ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When are your genitals available?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
