There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just found puke in my bra..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
