fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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