come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
