Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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