wakey wakey hands off snakey
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
