What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
