You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
