Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
