He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
