She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
And then the night went full on bisexual.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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