just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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