The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
