yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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