Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
