Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
