You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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