Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
