my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
