somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
