She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
