nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
