Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
