My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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