Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
