He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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