Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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