Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
