I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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