Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
