her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
