problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
