so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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