you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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