You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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