Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
a search helicopter?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
