I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
