I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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