Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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