is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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