I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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