"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
