you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just want to make out with him forever
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
