Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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